30.... Bring It On!!!!!

I really didn't know how I would feel about turning the big 3-0....
the more I reflect on it the more I feel excited about it!
I am 30 years old and gosh darn it, It feels good!!!!!!!
(so far) :)

I have learned so incredibly much through the past 30 years of life that I have been blessed with.

I want to say that I have grown more than ever over these past several years but I realize it has really been a whole different kind of growing!

I feel really good about the place I am finding within.
I feel happy about who I am and what I am learning about myself.
Life is not perfect but its perfectly imperfect.

I feel more at peace than I have in a long time.
I feel that I am FINALLY learning to "let things go" whatever those things might be.

I am letting go of being so resentful, of being so angry, of being so sad and hurt and frustrated. I am letting go of feeling betrayed and I am letting go of blame!!!!
I am letting go of being sooooo tired
tired of life
tired of responsibilities
tired of being a single mom
tired of feeling like a victim
tired of being in pain
tired of everything!!!!!

I am learning how to forgive......

and with that, I am learning acceptance!
Acceptance of circumstances beyond my control and beyond others control
acceptance of the many ups and downs of life
acceptance of the unknown

I am learning that life is really rotten and unfair and hurtful sometimes but that it is through these struggles that we grow the most and learn the most about ourselves.

I am learning that all of these things take time and that some days are going to be really good and some days are going to be really bad. I know that all of these feelings are going to try to creep back into my heart and that I will continue to work through this.

Most importantly, I have learned that all of this is okay
that I am okay!

I have one chance at life and my arms are wide open!!!!!!

So bring it on 30's
I am ready for the roller coaster.....
(I think) :)
what better day to celebrate CHANGE!!!!!!

AND
since this day really has never been all about me...
Happy Birthday my dear twin sis.
You are so many wonderful things,
devoted wife
dedicated momma
compassionate friend
beautiful woman
tender soul
I can never thank you enough for all that you bring to my life
Thank you for ALWAYS being there for me
for your loyalty and for your support
I love you so much!
Soooooo
Happy 30 you old hag :) :)
(that is for the comment on mom's blog)

Vacation At Last......

Brody saw the ocean for the very first time on our trip to Cali!!!!
He was so excited to see what it was all about and loved running away from the water as it crept up the beach.
It was so neat to watch him explore and take it all in....

He also got to experience Sea World!!!!

He saw all kinds of fun new creatures and even fed some fishies to the seals
AND met Shamu for the first time as well :)
Wow, was that an experience or what?

The cousins had soooo much fun waking up with each other each morning and enjoying that refreshing sea air. I think the highlight for Brody was the garbage man that drove right by our hotel one morning :)

We all had such an amazing time. For some reason being at the beach this time was just so much more refreshing than I have ever remembered. I really didn't want to leave it. There is just something so magical about walking along a board walk in the evening and listening to the waves crash against the water.... ahhhh!

Thank you family!!!!

PS.... Jessie got some GREAT pics if Brody at the beach
check out her photogblog

Catching Up

Brody received his very first award after completing a session of soccer tots....
he had a good time (dependent on his mood) but made such great progress from beginning to end with following directions and listening to "coach." It was so fun to be a part of this experience with little brodikens.
oh and yes his new hair do... (that sometimes gets done, and most the time does not :)

We drove to a pumpkin patch out on Ironwood and "who knows what", brody got to pick out his very own little pumkin. We got home to aunt B's house and this is Brody showing off the pumkin he picked out....

My little artist...... Brody's first attempt at finger painting....
Pretty good if I say so myself :) (thanks debbie)

Ohhhh and how could I resist posting this adorable picture of brodes..... he looks like a little turtle (like auntie Liz always called him since he was a babe :) )
Such a big little man he is becoming!
And such joy he fills me with!
My little boy showing momma his teeth. How precious does it get.... really????

I'LL BE TWO!!!!

My baby boy is two years old! Wow, how times fly....
It seems like just yesterday that I was lying on the couch with little brody asleep on my belly. Just watching his little face so angelic and innocent.

Now he is a walking talking little stinker who rarely settles down enough to fall asleep on his momma's tummy. It makes me so sad to think of how fast these two years have gone by, but it has been sooo much fun watching Brody grow. It seems that he has just sprouted into this wonderful little being who amazes me everyday with everything he has to share.....

From his tender little heart that has so much concern for everyone around him,
Just today he tells me, "don't worry momma." As we were taking a walk tonight he tells Auntie B to walk on the sidewalk because the cars will give her big owies. While I was at work he tells Nonnie "don't cry", and as I am pointing out the crickets on our walk he dramatically adds "don't touch momma." My little sweetie bug. Such a small little being to carry such great amounts of genuine and innocent concern. I think he takes after his auntie b... maybe his mantra will be "don't worry be happy" too!

And then there is his excitement about life....
The joy he gets from the sound of the garbage man and the ice cream truck! "I do, I do momma," he tells me when I ask him if he wants to go for a walk or to the park. I'm not sure I know too many people who get as excited as Brody does to see scorpions and grasshoppers, flies and ants, airplanes and helicopters, motorcycles and buses, and now (thanks to Asher) praying mantis and crickets :)

and his many special little ways...
the strangely happy smile he gets on his face when he is pretending to be a dinosaur, when he very rarely tells me "I love you so much momma," the way he grabs onto the corner of the pillow when he goes to sleep, his little dance moves and how excited he gets when "The wheels on the Bus" song comes on. How incredibly smart he is and how everyday he surprises me with the words he knows.

Broders you are such an incredible spirit. You have brought so much joy into my world and I learn from you each and every day. You entered this world with so much sensitivity and caution. Today you are a such a caring little guy with the confidence to push yourself to do something exciting but still that little bit of caution to make sure you are gonna be okay. I love you my dearest little boy. You are a true blessing.....

Happy Happy Day!!!!!

Happy Birthday little
Wyatt Bear
Nugget
Beef Toad...
You are such a happy ray of sunshine
I love to watch your little bowlegged run,
your big grin with those two front teeth
your beautiful bright blue eyes
and your loving little spirit.

We love you so very much
and are so very blessed to have such a
special little nephew/cousin.

Happy Number One Baby Boy!!!!

Some Faves...

My sis does an amazing job at photography!!!! She took some pics of Brody and I a little while ago and I got a little sneak peek on her photography blog. I have been anxiously awaiting the CD and when I got it this past weekend, I loved what I saw!
Besides some of the ones she already posted on her blog,
here are some of my most favorites....

Thanks for the fun morning Jess.
I am so very blessed to have you in my life
and so very grateful for these moments you have captured :)
Love you!

Camping

Brody was in his ELEMENT out in the woods this camping trip!
He loved waking up in his "house", chasing butterflies and grasshoppers, walks through nature, rides in papa's truck, and of course catching "cardads" (crawdads)!

Some of the highlights captured....

Playing in the rain in his "hopper" rainjacket.

learning to swing the bat at the ball

(look at that grip)

my beautiful little boy...

and of course he LOVED walking bubba

best of all, being with family!!!