11.05.2008

30.... Bring It On!!!!!

I really didn't know how I would feel about turning the big 3-0....
the more I reflect on it the more I feel excited about it!
I am 30 years old and gosh darn it, It feels good!!!!!!!
(so far) :)

I have learned so incredibly much through the past 30 years of life that I have been blessed with.

I want to say that I have grown more than ever over these past several years but I realize it has really been a whole different kind of growing!

I feel really good about the place I am finding within.
I feel happy about who I am and what I am learning about myself.
Life is not perfect but its perfectly imperfect.

I feel more at peace than I have in a long time.
I feel that I am FINALLY learning to "let things go" whatever those things might be.

I am letting go of being so resentful, of being so angry, of being so sad and hurt and frustrated. I am letting go of feeling betrayed and I am letting go of blame!!!!
I am letting go of being sooooo tired
tired of life
tired of responsibilities
tired of being a single mom
tired of feeling like a victim
tired of being in pain
tired of everything!!!!!

I am learning how to forgive......

and with that, I am learning acceptance!
Acceptance of circumstances beyond my control and beyond others control
acceptance of the many ups and downs of life
acceptance of the unknown

I am learning that life is really rotten and unfair and hurtful sometimes but that it is through these struggles that we grow the most and learn the most about ourselves.

I am learning that all of these things take time and that some days are going to be really good and some days are going to be really bad. I know that all of these feelings are going to try to creep back into my heart and that I will continue to work through this.

Most importantly, I have learned that all of this is okay
that I am okay!

I have one chance at life and my arms are wide open!!!!!!

So bring it on 30's
I am ready for the roller coaster.....
(I think) :)
what better day to celebrate CHANGE!!!!!!

AND
since this day really has never been all about me...
Happy Birthday my dear twin sis.
You are so many wonderful things,
devoted wife
dedicated momma
compassionate friend
beautiful woman
tender soul
I can never thank you enough for all that you bring to my life
Thank you for ALWAYS being there for me
for your loyalty and for your support
I love you so much!
Soooooo
Happy 30 you old hag :) :)
(that is for the comment on mom's blog)

9 comments:

Nonnie said...

and i am so so happy that you are okay and your arms are wide open....you are amazingly strong, corky....but you probably wish sometimes you didn't have to be....you have a beautiful spirit, a heart full of love....and such a sweet sweet bond with that little boy of yours......
happy happy days dear daughter....i wish you a year full of love, lots of laughter and sweet dreams.
xoxoxo

Jamie said...

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST BY BEING YOU. :)

Mommy to a Tater Tot said...

Happy 30th Cory! Did you get my message? I can only hope I have all those revelations when I turn 30! You are awesome cory and your strength never ceases to amaze me! Love ya sister

cassie said...

so glad to hear your reflections and love yourself for EVERYTHING that you are and have experienced. i picture you flinging your arms out like the little june bug in jessie's pictures at the beach. i hope you remember this feeling and hold onto it. and....nice music, makes me miss my birthday present! hee hee

Debbie said...

Happy Birthday Cory. I agree with everyone, you are an extraordinarily strong woman. I hope this next year brings you more good days than not, more smiles than tears, and a continued appreciation of all the GOOD that you are! Love you dear friend :)

Vonda said...

You go girl!! Adversity builds character...and you're the bigest character I know! (I just had to be a little funny!)

Annie and Jason said...

Happy Birthday Cory. What a beautiful outlook. You really are a fantastic writer. Mr. Brody man looks so cute I could eat him.

Mom/Grammie P said...

Ohhh Dear Cory --- Happy 30 years!!!! (and you too Brittney) :)

Cory you have grown so much in the years I have known you. I have been privileged to witness you grow from a fun loving somewhat shy young girl to a confident amazing young woman and mother. I can only feel that the "next 30 years" will be filled with adventure as you continue to navigate the forks in the road.

I have heard it said the sorrow looks back..... worry looks around... and faith looks forward ! I am so thrilled to know that you have your arms wide open dear Cory as you embrace life going --forward!
Happy Happy 30 years of life dear one!
XOXOX
Goonie

Sarah~ soon to be hitched~ said...

well now that im in tears because your now turning 30 hit home in some ways........you deserve to be happy and i hope thisyear is better for you....... go to the chritian book store and buy the movie FIRE PROOF!! its a marriage movie ...watch it with MAtt i think you will benefit from it!!! i loved it!! Have your box of tissues ready..love you !!