30.... Bring It On!!!!!

I really didn't know how I would feel about turning the big 3-0....
the more I reflect on it the more I feel excited about it!
I am 30 years old and gosh darn it, It feels good!!!!!!!
(so far) :)

I have learned so incredibly much through the past 30 years of life that I have been blessed with.

I want to say that I have grown more than ever over these past several years but I realize it has really been a whole different kind of growing!

I feel really good about the place I am finding within.
I feel happy about who I am and what I am learning about myself.
Life is not perfect but its perfectly imperfect.

I feel more at peace than I have in a long time.
I feel that I am FINALLY learning to "let things go" whatever those things might be.

I am letting go of being so resentful, of being so angry, of being so sad and hurt and frustrated. I am letting go of feeling betrayed and I am letting go of blame!!!!
I am letting go of being sooooo tired
tired of life
tired of responsibilities
tired of being a single mom
tired of feeling like a victim
tired of being in pain
tired of everything!!!!!

I am learning how to forgive......

and with that, I am learning acceptance!
Acceptance of circumstances beyond my control and beyond others control
acceptance of the many ups and downs of life
acceptance of the unknown

I am learning that life is really rotten and unfair and hurtful sometimes but that it is through these struggles that we grow the most and learn the most about ourselves.

I am learning that all of these things take time and that some days are going to be really good and some days are going to be really bad. I know that all of these feelings are going to try to creep back into my heart and that I will continue to work through this.

Most importantly, I have learned that all of this is okay
that I am okay!

I have one chance at life and my arms are wide open!!!!!!

So bring it on 30's
I am ready for the roller coaster.....
(I think) :)
what better day to celebrate CHANGE!!!!!!

since this day really has never been all about me...
Happy Birthday my dear twin sis.
You are so many wonderful things,
devoted wife
dedicated momma
compassionate friend
beautiful woman
tender soul
I can never thank you enough for all that you bring to my life
Thank you for ALWAYS being there for me
for your loyalty and for your support
I love you so much!
Happy 30 you old hag :) :)
(that is for the comment on mom's blog)


Vacation At Last......

Brody saw the ocean for the very first time on our trip to Cali!!!!
He was so excited to see what it was all about and loved running away from the water as it crept up the beach.
It was so neat to watch him explore and take it all in....

He also got to experience Sea World!!!!
He saw all kinds of fun new creatures and even fed some fishies to the seals
AND met Shamu for the first time as well :)
Wow, was that an experience or what?

The cousins had soooo much fun waking up with each other each morning and enjoying that refreshing sea air. I think the highlight for Brody was the garbage man that drove right by our hotel one morning :)

We all had such an amazing time. For some reason being at the beach this time was just so much more refreshing than I have ever remembered. I really didn't want to leave it. There is just something so magical about walking along a board walk in the evening and listening to the waves crash against the water.... ahhhh!

Thank you family!!!!

PS.... Jessie got some GREAT pics if Brody at the beach
check out her photogblog